I'm both amazed and concerned how many people stumble on this blog, affectionately known as "Steph Infection," when they are clearly trying to get information about a "staph infection." Most recently, as the stats reveal, someone was concerned their "steph infection" was making them sleep excessively, which led them to my post about sleeping in the Target parking lot and other downward spiraling/salmon smuggling.
I feel obliged to help the massive population currently suffering from bacterial infections in silence. Herewith, some tips:
1. This is a blog about writing, editing, rejection, misery, jubilation, wine preferences and sandwiches. Sometimes, we discuss my embarrassing taste in music, my dog, grilled cheese, shiny cupcake dresses, people who look at porn in Borders, and the open sores on Bradley Cooper. I rant about the sad state of airline nuts in our society. Occasionally, we explore my cramps and subsequent chocolate consumption. I have no medical expertise, unless you count the aforementioned chocolate consumption as medical expertise. For the record, I DO.
2. The title of this blog is a jaunty play on words!
3. Staph infection, also called Cellulitis or sometimes MRSA, is bad. The only thing I know about it is that I joke about picking up MRSA on the floor at various filling station bathrooms. For more information, I've provided this handy and informative link to the Mayo Clinic! Go there! For less journalistically sound information, here is Wikipedia. Anyone can edit that shiz, so you're best off seeing a doctor. Which leads me to my next point...
4. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GET OFF GOOGLE AND SEE A DOCTOR.
5. Let's review. Steph (with cheese fry):
6. Now that we've "cleared" that up (HAR HAR), we return to our regularly scheduled programming. Videos of John Stamos!