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Some helpful information on staph infections

Monday, July 11, 2011

I'm both amazed and concerned how many people stumble on this blog, affectionately known as "Steph Infection," when they are clearly trying to get information about a "staph infection." Most recently, as the stats reveal, someone was concerned their "steph infection" was making them sleep excessively, which led them to my post about sleeping in the Target parking lot and other downward spiraling/salmon smuggling.

I feel obliged to help the massive population currently suffering from bacterial infections in silence. Herewith, some tips:

1. This is a blog about writing, editing, rejection, misery, jubilation, wine preferences and sandwiches. Sometimes, we discuss my embarrassing taste in music, my dog, grilled cheese, shiny cupcake dresses, people who look at porn in Borders, and the open sores on Bradley Cooper. I rant about the sad state of airline nuts in our society. Occasionally, we explore my cramps and subsequent chocolate consumption. I have no medical expertise, unless you count the aforementioned chocolate consumption as medical expertise. For the record, I DO.

2. The title of this blog is a jaunty play on words!

3. Staph infection, also called Cellulitis or sometimes MRSA, is bad. The only thing I know about it is that I joke about picking up MRSA on the floor at various filling station bathrooms. For more information, I've provided this handy and informative link to the Mayo Clinic! Go there! For less journalistically sound information, here is Wikipedia. Anyone can edit that shiz, so you're best off seeing a doctor. Which leads me to my next point...


5. Let's review. Steph (with cheese fry):


6. Now that we've "cleared" that up (HAR HAR), we return to our regularly scheduled programming. Videos of John Stamos!


  1. I got a staph infection a few years ago when I tried to pick something on my knee with tweezers. It grew to like 20 times (this is gonna get gross alert) normal size and the pain was phenomenal. I went to the doctor with tears in my eyes crying like a little bitch. They cut into my knee with a scalpel and all this... ok I'm gonna stop but it was rough. Staph sucks. Steph, however, is a badass.

  2. Wow. Thanks, Jon, for all your efforts of informing the Googling public of staph. You're a public servant! Related: I'm never using tweezers again.

  3. that why i spell my short name very cute

  4. What about staff infections? Nasty, contagious...and proof you should never sleep with co-workers! (You have permission to shoot me.)

  5. Hahah. That'll probably be what someone Googles next. People need help in all walks of life!