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Two reasons to celebrate before the rapture

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The world is allegedly ending later today, so here are a couple good thoughts I will leave behind:

Two of my friends stayed up late this week reading OBITCHUARY to the end, texting or e-mailing me with rando "OMG" and "NO" and "WTF" along the way. It could be they're just lying to me and being super nice because I have pictures of them drunk on tequila they're fearful I'll release. Google footprint ain't no joke, y'all. Or it could be they actually really liked it so much they read it that fast, and that basically makes me pee with glee.

Hope for the future, friends. There's nothing better than entertaining someone.

Oh, except there is. I ordered my first ever Coach purse today as an early birthday gift, with a donation from the BF's parents who heard through the grapevine (his sister) I wanted one. It is leather and  fancy and SEXUAL. So beautiful. Clicking "purchase" made me feel this wonderful sense of... false fulfillment. Like I had the world at my fingertips for approximately one hour. This must be how shopping addicts feel. Material things are so great, you guys. The bag of glory should be arriving to my doorstep shortly. I can finally fit in at the rich mall. The rest of my life should be just fine.

Oh, but RIGHT. Armageddon might come today. Totes inconvenient. If it does, I want my money back from Coach.

Here's a little something for you in the mean time.


  1. I can't believe how tiny Debbie Harry was in this video. How is it possible a person can be that small and still be alive?

  2. I know. She's like Fun Size Debbie!