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Finger on the pulse, and other observations from last month.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

I bought the October Vanity Fair back in, well, October. It's the one where Lindsay Lohan is on the cover looking all Talented Mr. Ripley and talking about how she was totes recovered and stuff, how things were A-OK, SPORTS FANS, like the black bandy thing on her leg was a hot retro anklet! Shortly after, Lindsay checked into Betty Ford, where she allegedly scaled the wall while attempting to get a Diet Coke. I get that, by the way. We must let nothing stand between us and those sweet brown dew drops. One love, LiLo.
Relapse aside, my goal was to read the mag cover-to-cover on a flight from Florida to Michigan. For this same excursion, I had also packed serious smarty pants books about the degradation of feminism and stuff, plus sticky notes to make intellectual notes in the pages, and pads of paper to jot down thoughts on the world, ruminations on life, ideas for short stories -- the splashes of creativity that only come when cruising at 39,000 feet on luxurious Spirit Airlines, slogan "Enjoy A Diet Coke For A Small Fee On Your Visa Or Mastercard," a.k.a., "Betty Ford Has Nothing On Us."

But what transpired instead? I played solitaire on my phone. And that game where you flick a ball of paper into a wastebasket against the windy peril of an enemy desk fan. And I slept with my mouth open. And I ate about a trillion candied pecans out of my purse, because airlines are in such a state nowadays that you have to smuggle your OWN NUT PRODUCTS ON BOARD. Forget the TSA kerfuffle. I want my snacks restored!

I've since cracked the Vanity Fair. I'm past photos from the Jessica Seinfeld party in the Hamptons, but not yet to the think piece on the NEW ESTABLISHMENT 2010 (I predict Snooki).

I did come across a great John Heilpern interview with Pulitzer Prize winning playwright Tony Kushner, and wanted to share this quote with the rest of you writers who live for the craft but would just assume eat purse peanuts until your stomach bleeds than pick up a pen some days.

John Heilpern: "Do you agree that writers are world-class avoiders of writing?"

Tony Kushner: "I could run rings around anyone! Gardening is a great diversion. I have a terrace, and I'll suddenly decide even in the dead of winter to go out and wrap pots in burlap. I shop. I shop for books and more books. There's so much that's really good to watch on TV, too - most recently Breaking Bad. I also have a fountain pen fetish."

So, there you have it. Burlap pots. Makes me feel like a machine. Thanks, Tony!

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